


tallulah: the rising

by karasquare



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Villaneve, idk you guys are gonna have to find out the rest, is this a crackfic, its my first time posting on ao3 what do you put here, probably, uhm okay so, we have a bit of oven burning, we have a bit of post-dinner (almost) sex, we have a bit of power bottom eve, we have a bit of soft top villanelle, we have domestic villaneve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25271200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasquare/pseuds/karasquare
Summary: after many many convos with oxana (@CodenameOxana on twitter!), this was born. just- take it.no summary necessary, but basically: post-dinner make-out session goes wrong. enjoy~!
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	tallulah: the rising

**Author's Note:**

> okay first of all this is a collab with @CodenameOxana on twitter! they're the one who knows how to write smut lol also thank you oxana for going absolutely apeshit with me when it comes to tallulah. and thank you drawing eve gc for bearing with our shit we love you :-) (hi nash no chickens aren't born from corn grains)
> 
> second of all, we literally only wrote this as joke and writing isn't rlly our foccus - but we draw a lot of ke stuff, which you can find at @CodenameOxana and @schereeer (that's me!) on twitter!
> 
> here we go!!

“I’m home!”

Villanelle hears the entrance door opening and closing from the kitchen. She smiles – Eve’s home earlier from work. The investigations and reports at MI6 have been keeping Eve way more time at her job lately, so it’s a joy for Villanelle to find out her wife has arrived earlier. In fact, she had been cooking dinner for them – or at least trying to; cooking isn’t really her thing, but, well, it’s good to try new things - before suddenly being interrupted by Eve’s arrival and automatically throwing the dishcloth onto her left shoulder and leaving the knife she used to cut the very badly-chopped vegetables on the kitchen’s counter to meet her partner.

“Eve!”

Villanelle goes straight to the front door, finding Eve taking off her shoes and placing her heavy coat on the coat rack. The older woman looks up and smiles.

“Please don’t tell me you’re making dinner.” She says teasingly. “Remember what happened last time…”

Villanelle scoffs. What was it, a month ago? She wanted to make something special to celebrate Eve’s latest investigation’s success, so she had enthusiastically googled some good-looking recipes, bought the best ingredients beforehand and attempted to prepare a nice meal for both of them. Needless to say that it didn’t turn out well: she ended up losing track of time and leaving the platter inside the oven way longer than necessary, the meal turning coal black. When Eve arrived, she had already set the table – and besides her lover’s constant arguing that they shouldn’t eat it, Villanelle insisted that “you should never judge a book by its cover”, which ended with them spitting out a mouthful of the thing immediately after tasting it. So yeah – it definitely wasn’t a pleasant experience. Eve probably even thought out how carcinogenic the food was.

Villanelle approaches Eve and engulfs her in a warm hug. “Pfft. Okay, I won’t tell you I’m making dinner…”

Eve laughs. They stay like that for a few seconds, until Villanelle interrupts their silence.

“…But I am, though.”

* * *

Surprisingly, it isn’t that bad. This time, Villanelle had chosen something a bit easier to cook – she decided that it was for the better, not starting out with an extremely refined recipe from a renowned gourmet chef’s website. “Rocchetti Pasta with Sautéed Vegetables and Marinara Sauce, accompanied by Oven Baked Rosemary Seasoned Chicken Thighs” hadn’t seemed like an extremely complex recipe headline, at least for her. She got almost everything right – except for the poorly-chopped veggies and a tiny bit of too-much-salt. She had a really hard time trying to figure out how to position the overly huge amount of chicken she bought out of enthusiasm inside the same platter, so that part of the meal was still cooking inside the oven. They’d have to leave it for later. But oh well, no one’s perfect, and Eve really seemed proud of her snobbish blondie for giving up on choosing a way too classy and sophisticated recipe, opening up space for something that she would _actually_ be able to prepare. Well, relatively.

After eating their respective _rocchetti_ meals and talking about mundane topics for a while, Eve drinks the rest of her champagne and gets up, taking their plates to the sink. Villanelle watches quietly from her seat, arms folded under the table. God, she misses this domesticity. The older woman leaves the plates there and quickly washes her hands. Then she turns to the blonde.

“Uhm, I’m gonna take a quick bath and then, well, we see what we can do until we wait for your next _gourmet masterpiece_?”

Villanelle laughs.

“Gosh, V, it’s been so long since I’ve been home this early – I don’t even know what to do in my free time anymore.”

Villanelle slowly gets up from her chair, heading towards the sink. She places both hands on Eve’s hips. The shorter woman looks up at her, smiling shyly.

“ You got any suggestions? Maybe, uh, watch a movie…?”

Villanelle chuckles, slowly moving to burrow her face into Eve’s messy curls.

“ _Oh_ ,” she purrs. “I actually had _other_ ideas in mind…”

After small passionate pecks, Eve takes the reigns and what had begun as a short period of locked lips turns into a frantic bumbling lust-filled make-out session. 

Completely forgetting the chicken in the oven. Villanelle, while tripping, helps Eve make way into their bedroom with little effort. There was a bit of stumbling, but honestly you can't really blame them. 

Eve pushes Villanelle on their queen sized bed and straddles her stomach, while at the same time - you guessed it! - making out. 

Eve unbuttons her slacks and blouse while Villanelle hurriedly takes off her sweatshirt, the blonde using the passing time of Eve unbuttoning her shirt to flip them over, making her on top between the older woman’s thighs. The action surprises Eve, gaining a chuckle from her.

Finally taking her shirt off, Villanelle licks and nips on the hollows of Eve's neck and places kisses starting from her collarbone and trailing down to her abdomen, completely unaware of what's happening outside.

As Villanelle slowly gets to Eve's navel, with Eve's ragged breaths sending a wave of sensations to the throbbing in her core, she hears something - which se completely disregards, proceeding to pepper kisses along her lover’s stomach so she can give Eve one of the best and well-deserved climaxes of her life. Not that she hasn’t given her many before, but their long-awaited daily reunions have only been happening very late recently, work making Eve too tired to act on the almost palpable sexual tension between the two women.

Except that she hears the sound again. Okay, completely stopping now.

"V? Are you okay, honey? What's wrong?" Eve asks, voice laced with worry.

Villanelle looks around the room, searching for the source of the noises.

"It is nothing, I just heard somethi-” She stops, weighting her decisions, and turns back down to Eve. Nope, whatever this is, it won’t stop her from quite literally eating her wife out on this fucking bed. She can’t wait anymore. “You know what? Nevermind that."

Eve chuckles, quirking her eyebrows. "Oookay..."

Villanelle gets back to work, teasingly skimming her long fingers along Eve’s abdomen. She had just started to finally go with the flow, and was about about to pull Eve's pants down when they finally heard it. Again. And louder.

"What was that?" Eve asks, genuinely confused. She looks around - Villanelle stops what she’s doing and does the same, skimming the room.

"I don't know.”

Villanelle, indeed, has no idea from where this sound is coming from; but she’s certain she’s going to commit murder if whoever - or _whatever_ \- is the culprit behind the noises appears. A long-awaited fuck should _never_ be interrupted: that’s rule no. 1 in the Park-Astankova household.

Villanelle sighs. This is definitely ruining the mood. “Okay, I think I should go take a look at whatever this is…”

She starts moving to get off of her partner, but Eve stops her.

“V, hold on-” She starts, genuine worry in her voice. “You don’t think it’s something dangerous, right? I mean, shouldn’t we be at least a little bit worried considering the amount of people who’ve tried to kill us…?

Villanelle just stares at the door for a few seconds. That’s it. 

“You know what, Eve?” She begins, slowly getting back on top of her partner and seductively lowering herself onto Eve’s body, smirking. “I think we should start making our _own_ noises so these mischievous wrongdoers go away, whoever or _whatever_ they are.”

“O-ho-hoohh...” Eve chuckles teasingly. “You’re right, that might be the _only_ way to keep these _terrible_ criminals away…”

Time to start the whole process all over again. Villanelle lowers herself, her mouth leisurely locking with Eve’s, until she starts evenly skimming her lips across the older woman’s jawline, reaching her collar bone and peppering soft kisses all the way down to her navel. Meanwhile, Eve’s fingers tentatively brush along Villanelle’s abdomen, finally reaching for her back so she can unclasp the blonde’s way-too-luxurious black lacy brassiere. 

Villanelle provokingly continues peppering soft kisses along the skin that’s progressively being exposed as she starts lowering Eve’s slacks, quickly pulling them off the moment she reaches the asian woman’s knees. She throws the pants at a nearby chair, barely taking her eyes off her lover’s - whose ragged breaths and visibly wet underwear practically _beg_ for the blonde to get on with it -, and, with a smirk, starts descending once again to Eve’s throbbing core, daringly brushing her fingertips across her partner’s inner thighs.

“Vil…” Eve sighs - it’s a plea. She helps Villanelle make quick work of her undergarment, which ends up on the same chair where her pants were thrown on, and spreads her legs wider, slowly rocking her hips. The blonde teasingly approaches her center, trailing light kisses along the older woman’s groin, and prepares to start putting her mouth to work, when suddenly-

“...cLUCKAAAAAWW!!!!”

“Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me-” Villanelle groans, storming off of the bed and heading towards the door.

“Is that…?” 

Villanelle angrily opens the door. 

She sighs. 

It’s both a sigh of relief, and one of disgust - but mostly the latter.

“....cluck…?”

“Tallulah!!?” Eve bends up on the bed, looking surprised at the door, where stands Tallulah, their chicken, beside a freshly-laid egg.

“Seriously, Tallulah? Right in front of your mothers’ fucking room!?” Villanelle scolds the bird, as if it were some kind of child. Well, not that it isn’t.

“Hey - language!” Eve immediately contests. Yep, the chicken is definitely their child.

Villanelle sighs and says something in Russian - probably cursing their damn _bird child_ for interrupting their long-awaited fuck. 

Eve gets up from the bed, putting on one of her oversized t-shirts that were on the nearby chair, grabbing Villanelle’s own shirt and throwing it at her. The blonde catches it in the air and reluctantly puts it on once again, mentally trying not to blast their feathered offspring with reprimands about how _outrageous_ it is to disrespect rule no.1 of the Park-Astankova household. She would probably not even understand - because, well, even besides Eve’s constant affirmations of the contrary, Tallulah was a _chicken_ , after all. These damn birds.

Eve approaches the door and takes Tallulah in her arms, while Villanelle picks up the still warm and freshly-laid egg. 

“Shouldn't you be in your room, Tallulah?” Eve asks the bird. “How did you even get out of there, you mischievous little thing-” And then a second later, she’s tickling the chicken. Who actually seems to be laughing - if all the “clucks” indicate something. Insane.

Eve puts the chicken back down. The bird proceeds her casual walk around the house, heading towards the kitchen.

Villanelle, with a sigh, hands the warm egg to Eve. “Here. Take care of our unborn grandchild.”

Eve chuckles, placing one hand on Villanelle’s hips while the other wanders up to the back of her neck. “Just wash it a bit and put it in the fridge.” 

She looks down at the egg in the blonde’s left hand. “Wow. I’m actually kind of surprised she managed to lay an egg. It’s not really her jam.”

Villanelle laughs, a smirk forming on her lips. “Well, maybe she felt the heat of the moment too and decided to join in her _own_ way…”

“Oh my god, you’re helpless.” Eve giggles, while Villanelle slowly lifts up the other woman’s chin with her free hand, kissing her passionately. Eve’s right hand slowly comes up to caress the blonde’s cheek, the atmosphere once again starting to change, heating up and-

“...cluck…”

Yep. Of course Tallulah was there to interrupt again.

Villanelle parts the kiss, sighing. “Okay, Tallulah. We got it.” She looks down at the chicken in disdain.

“Well, we can’t do _that_ in front of our kid, right?” Eve smiles, and Villanelle rolls her eyes, in defeat.

Tallulah heads back to the kitchen, clucking and pecking. Villanelle follows her, her right hand still lingering onto Eve’s. She looks back for a second.

“I guess I am going to put our grandchild to rest. In the fridge.” 

Eve grins. “Go ahead. I’ll just grab us some pants since it doesn’t seem like we’re going to be able to do _anything_ right now.” 

They part, Eve heading to their room and Villanelle following Tallulah, who’s still clucking non-stop, to the kitchen.

“...peck... peck… pECKPECK…”

Tallulah is now pecking something furiously. And also clucking. A lot. Villanelle turns around the corner just to see the chicken in front of the oven. Which happens to be emitting a whole lot of smoke and that typical smell of burned up stuff (which of course she knows pretty well).

And then it clicks.

Oh.

“Shit- Eve!” Villanelle leaves the egg on the counter and quickly grabs a dry washcloth to open the oven, coughing when the black smoke comes out. She almost burns her fingers when she tries to grab the platter with the cloth, having to get another one to wrap her hands in just to take the heavy and now practically coal-black meal out of the smoky thing.

Villanelle hurriedly places the container on the counter and turns around to switch off the oven, closing it so the smoke doesn’t spread through their whole house. Throwing the two dishcloths on her left shoulder, she puts her hand on her forehead and exhales. 

Shit.

Burned food again.

Fuck you, Oven Baked Rosemary Seasoned Chicken Thighs.

She looks at Tallulah, who is casually looking back as if asking for leftover crumbs. Or cuddles. Or maybe she’s just cursing her mother with death threats. Who knows - it’s a fucking _chicken_.

“...cluck…?” 

Yep. Definitely death threats. Eve is going to _kill_ her.

“V…?”

Oh no. She’s coming. There’s no escaping now. Fuck it.

“What’s that sme-” Eve turns around the corner only to find Villanelle cutting a whole chicken thigh of their coal black and probably radioactive meal into tiny crumbs, putting them into a small plastic navy blue plate. Tallulah’s plate.

“What the fuck, Vil-” She interrupts herself when Villanelle grabs the egg that had been left on the counter, cracks it open and lets the yolk and white plop into the small container. She places the plastic plate on the floor and Tallulah practically dives into it, pecking and plucking the food - or whatever it can be called - voraciously.

“Villanelle, what the heck are you doing…!?” Eve looks at the container on the floor in disbelief, placing her hands on each side of her head and grabbing her own curls, shocked.

“It seems like Tallulah is very much enjoying her two-course meal.” Villanelle smiles innocently, looking down at the chicken, both hands on her hips. She bends down to pet the animal. “Aren’t you, Tallulah?”

Tallulah doesn’t even react, she just continues happily enjoying her radioactive food.

“What-”

Villanelle stands back up, turning to Eve.

“Okay, I may have burned the whole meal again.” She huffs “But can you blame me?”

It’s Eve’s turn to quickly bend down. She grabs the plastic plate, gaining a “cluck” from Tallulah, and leaves the whole thing in the sink, angrily turning back to Villanelle. 

“I can clearly see _and_ smell that it’s burned, but why the _fuck_ are you giving it to Tallulah!?”

“Hey, I’m just disciplining her, Eve…!” Villanelle quirks her eyebrows. “That was for interrupting our long-awaited fuck!”

“Okay, first of all - _language_ !” Eve points a finger at the blonde. “Second of all - you damn well know that she can’t eat _meat_ , Villanelle!” 

She angrily gestures with her hands, looking down at Tallulah, who’s vaguely staring at the two women. Villanelle is practically cornered in the kitchen, visibly intimidated by Eve’s (totally justifiable) outrage. “And it’s- it’s _chicken_ meat! Fucking _chicken_ ! She isn’t some kind of- of- _Hannibal Lecter_ , V!”

Villanelle chuckles shyly and almost whispers. “Well, it seems to me that she would like to be him the-” The blonde is interrupted by Eve furiously smacking her right hand on the counter, practically trapping the other woman. Hot.

Villanelle smirks. Don’t say it. Don’t _fucking_ say it.

“Kinky…” She fucking said it.

Eve looks up at her, angrily. Fuck, flirting won’t be the best coping mechanism right now.

“Can you fucking stop for a second, Villanelle?” She uses her other hand to point a finger at the blonde. “We need to have a _serious_ conversation about your education methods.” She backs off a bit and huffs. “And on top of that, Tallulah’s literally the _only_ reason we stopped in time to not witness the whole house burning down, so you should at least thank her.” She sighs.

Villanelle looks down at the older woman, apologetically.

“Okay. Yes. I am- I am sorry, Eve.”

Eve huffs, backing off now and standing right beside Villanelle, leaning on the counter. Neither say anything. Villanelle doesn’t know if she should say something. Should she? She’s not really good at these kind of discussions so-

“We should get back on with it.” Eve suddenly breaks the silence. Villanelle’s thoughts are abruptly interrupted.

“What?”

Eve gets back to her initial position, turning around and leaning towards Villanelle, each hand on one side of the counter, trapping the blonde.

Oh.

Villanelle chuckles. Eve looks up at her.

“Don’t get me wrong.” She lowers the blonde’s chin with one hand. “You’ll have to clean up this whole mess once we’re done.”

Villanelle smirks. “Okay, _boss_.”

“And I’m taking the lead this time.” Eve adds, leaning up to the other woman and locking their lips. Villanelle cups her cheeks, and suddenly they’re kissing passionately. 

In the kitchen.

And then it’s all hands and ragged breaths and, yep, they’re making out on the counter. The fucking counter.

Typical.

In the meantime, Tallulah absentmindedly strolls through the house, leaving the kitchen free for her moms’ well-deserved make-out session. The chicken heads towards her room, which is decorated with all kinds of farm-related furniture and posters, and takes a tiny jump onto the small bundle of neatly arranged blankets.

Tallulah nestles herself in her small burrow and thinks of the delicious meal she just ate. 

That was good.

**Author's Note:**

> we believe in tallulah margaret park-astankova supremacy


End file.
